He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Randomize
