The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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