Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
