hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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