He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
