Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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