i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
