...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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