And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Come on in and take your pants off
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