I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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