69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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