everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Randomize
