a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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