Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
God gave him joint rollers for hands
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
