I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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