something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
