I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
