i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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