If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
