I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
