Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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