Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
