the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
