I met the friendliest cop last night
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
