So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
