Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
