She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
