Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
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