ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
No I am not eating basil off your cock
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Randomize
