I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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