Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
farters have to be the big spoon...
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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