That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
