I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Of course I have a pirate flag
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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