Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
