just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
