im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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