Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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