woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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