So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
