At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
