I wish I could teleport
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
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