I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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