but the lizard people decide everything anyway
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
