Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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