Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
