I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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