you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Randomize
