You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Vodka?
Forever.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
