Dual....:-)
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
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