I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
